Social Weapons @ The Coffeeshop

First snow day of the year. Ugh. So after dropping off the youngins I’m at the coffeeshop with the great fireplace, feet on the hearth logging into some work, p-funk in my ears, all good morning style. Big deadline today, lots of checks on the list.

Regular coffeeshop dude sits next to me. Every cafe has regulars and it’s a mixed bag of humanity that hangs around those places. But whatever, he’s to my side so his visual issues can be ignored.

But even with fire to my right this dude was just hummin! I ignored it, thought it could be anything else, maybe even my own winter coat that I dug out of the closet.

Nope. Dude was done, sour old boot filled with poop, ya know? My nose started twitchin. I’m dj raz of wfnk, i love and live the funk and now what was this in my face, making my eyes water, messing up my concentration? This was a foreign funk I was not down with.

I had the best spot in the place. Plus dude is a regular who just stares at people so it would be obvious what I was doing if I moved to the other end of the store. I decided it best to pack up and get some lunch, I’ll just have to work tonight.

Lesson learned – one way to get the best spot in a cafe is to poop your boots then sit next to the guy with the best spot. As I was walking out he was moving over into my space to warm his boots.