Paranoia Loses To Reality

So I took my free obama phone down to the local socialist party office to pick up my welfare check, and while standing in the long line with the other workers I was thinking about my lack of medical bills or national taxes due. I wasn’t clear on how our muslim el presidente wished me to show my devotion, but since he has uplifted us all from poverty by shutting down our capitalist system and removing all free enterprise from the US I believe major statues of him at every school ?and public area are just the start. What a great socialist country we live in.

This is the fantasy that crazy Republicans believe is happening. Let me give you the truth: no free phones, no welfare check, huge medical bills, huge tax bill, freedom of religion, freedom of press, freedom of thought, freedom of enterprise, and a serious lack of fanfare and devotion required to join the party. No Obama parades or statues.

Can you even imagine what would be going on if GWBush was president when Bin Laden was caught? We’d have several national holidays full of parades, featuring church groups re-enacting the brave raid from the the situation room. Storybooks would be written and re-written to rename the boogie man Osama, the hero George. Without Dick Cheney’s steady (cold) hand to guide us through this big bad world all kids would sleep in fear.

Tea Partiers are falling on their bayonets.

But instead reality won. The american people looked at the real situation in our schools, in our streets, in our homes, and yes, on the world stage, and saw in Barrack Obama a capable, confident, and steady leader. Romney was a?mish-mash of old ideas and new money, and his facade was cracking from day one.

[update] Here’s a look back at the whole campaign, ADD style:

http://cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/politics/2012/11/05/evc-campaign-in-two-minutes.cnn.html