“At the end of the day, all the people that was rooting on me to fail – at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today,” James said. “They have the same personal problems they had today …

“They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal, but they have to get back to the real world at some point.”

Sorry Lebron I think we are done forever now. I went online/on-record and tried to defend him over the years. My eyes saw what most of you saw - this kid could be the best baller ever. He had game falling out of his pockets by the time he was 16. By 19 he was unstoppable by any other player in the game. Most of the rumors around town about LBJ's attitude seemed just that, rumors and jealousy. His game started to peak. Every season wasn't enough and whatever new skill he developed over the off-season wasn't enough to get any chips.

Then the rumors started up again, but this time they were far more serious than being a bad tipper -- "he doesn't have it, man, he's just along for the ride" said the whispers.

A love lost

When he stiffed the cavs and his most loyal fans in summer 2010 I refrained from posting anything based on pure emotion -- after all, most people in cleveland would strongly consider taking a job offer in miami. That's cool I get it. But do you shit on your people on the way out? Do you tell everyone in your new place they have never had it as good as now? Thank god miami, your savior from akron has arrived. Yeah right! He was our savior and our savior only, and he pissed away that role years ago.

I guess that's all I have to say on it. After the game last night when Lebron gave us "I'm rich bitch!" I actually felt bad for him for the first time since he was 19.

He doesn't get it and that's that. Money does not equal happiness nor can it buy a championship. The cavs start rebuilding this year and life goes on.

I have to admit, it kinda feels right having the rest of the country mocking and simplifying our local issues again. 'Lebron left and the rest of the team is horrible' goes the line. Too bad that's not really the truth. This team currently has 2 players suited up left over from the Lebron years, and LBJ screwed them so hard with the way he handled his decision that it could take years to get back to being a contender.

There's also the forgotten fact that there is serious labor trouble coming for the NBA this off-season, forcing a majority of the league to completely shut down player transactions this season due to the fear of union renegotiations coming soon. The Cavs started this year with a mish-mash team with little offensive talent, and have been completely handcuffed from starting any rebuilding this season. So it's lose time, and then go out and lose lose lose lose some more. Hard to watch but so is 2 feet of snow and 10 degrees, again.

Going from first to worst almost never happens in sports, but Cleveland has always had a flair for the dramatic (especially in the failure department!). Kinda feels like the natural order is restored and my underdog status is secure. I've been divorced and I know how to recover - better, stronger, faster.

Lebron ain't won anything yet. The challenge still stands. Go Cadavers!

Not since the Browns left Cleveland for Baltimore 15 years ago has the city received so much moral support from the rest of the country. Witness South Park's take on the Unchosen One's "explanation". Too funny.

"With every goddess a let down
every idol a bring down
It gets you down

But the search for perfection
your own predilection
Goes on and on and on"

-- Bryan Ferry/Roxy Music "Mother of Pearl"

CLEVELAND, OHIO - The man known as "King James" shocked the sports world today by announcing he would forego his NBA free agency and instead sign with little known team The 2merican Dirt Devils. Potentially sacrificing hundreds of millions of dollars, Lebron says this unheralded move was done "just for the funk of it."

This amazing development, the latest in James' contractual ballyhoo that has gone into a fever pitch since Wednesday, is unheralded in the sports world even for a number 23. But unlike the process so far, this begs even more questions. Who are the Dirt Devils? What and where is 2merica? What does Kobe think?

For some answers on this rapidly developing story, we turned to Fugfayz Bookman, commissioner of the EBA, the league that sponsors the 2mericans. This mysterious basketball league won't divulge where they hold their games, the current standings, or even what the E stands for, but Mr. Bookman claims LeBron will fit right in. "We started a fight club, but with basketballs." When pressed about the ability of the Dirt Devils to match the Cleveland Cavaliers' multimillion dollar budget and lavish treatment of it's superstar players, Mr. Bookman boasted "We use eBay alot, so we have some nice stuff."

The only other EBL player making himself available to the press is Ezrazmus Jones, a forward for the 2merican squad and biggest star (until now). "We are excited" said the calm EzRaz, whose mercurial and magical nature on court has earned him the nickname "Elemento". "LeBron is a great Ohio Player so he should fit right in. I walk past that huge-ass sign of his all the time and I like it." When asked if he could release any further information on the team or the management he laughed and declined, but he did direct us to his compuserve electronic mail account. He then said "Twitter my gopher" and ended the interview.

Finally replying to our queries through email, Jones continued to boast about his team, seemingly unaware of the hoopla surrounding him and the situation. "We have some great young talent to add to the mix so it should be a killer year. Both Jak "DirtyHott" Hanksta and Dragon Mikocovic are young ballers, and we know Coach Rudy will work them in quickly."

Coach Rudolph Irisarzo is the man tasked with incorporating James' amazing talent. "I accept this challenge. It is a sign. LeBron will be surrounded with talent, a great group of guys." The King and two rookies will join an established core of big red Jaimeson "Sevenem" Lowell down low and Louie "Stonerock" Heat setting the tempo. Unlike the NBA, there will be plenty of balls to go around. "Now, the adjustment won't be easy" opines Irisarzo, "so we gone 'head and hired a personal liason for Lebron, a great fella named Jesus. LeBron will feel right at home with Jesus on speed-dial."

Stay tuned basketball fans as this story will be updated with breaking news. Surely you should refresh this story and yourself often. ¥Associated Pruss 2010
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