How To Best Close Up The Internet?

If a President Trump decides we need to “close up the internet in some way” like Candidate Trump wishes, is it even possible?

[Someone not to ask is Sarah Palin. She’s gotta be steaming mad that Trump stole her act.]


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Ask the nerds of Slashdot.

Deport millions of illegals? Determine visitation based on religion? Build a 500 mile wall across the desert for free? Call China and ask for our money back? All are recent proposals of the yuuuge-brained Donald.


 

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Which way to Mexico?


 

But close the internet?

This one has silly and serious details and made a great poll at Slashdot:

  1. Snip undersea fiber optic cables
  2. C4 or thermite on every BGP router
  3. Bulldoze, bulldoze, bulldoze!
  4. Steer all communication satellites into the Pacific
  5. Re-open the office of censorship
  6. Make unauthorized encryption a felony
  7. Ban figurative speech and nicknames
  8. Require Facebook login for everything

As of this writing, #8 was at 47%!

Let’s dissect this a bit.

  • 1 is equivalent to cutting the plug and would be considered an act of war and corporate sabotage.
  • 2 is a direct attack on the primary routers of the internet backbone and could probably be enacted by an agreement of world governments.
  • 3 is funny. Thinking the internet is a building.
  • 4 would be an awesome movie. But too much hardware up there to crash it all when they just put them all into reboot mode at the same time.
  • 5 is right around the corner if/when we elect the next religious conservative. This could also be known as the Apple Store depending on your angle.
  • 6 could be done through the legal system and seems a likely route if things continue on their current path.
  • 7 could also be done through the legal system but I don’t see how they could enforce it since every system manages it’s own user list and people could continue to use aliases.
  • 8 is the practical version of #7 which is why it is winning. BUT based on how much racism and other types of hatred are posted to Facebook every day, I don’t see the public shaming aspect of Facebook enough to control the entire population.

As usual, The Donald is clueless. He said he’d “talk to Bill Gates about this” like that would help!


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Hey there sailor, nice DOS.


 

Just like talk of banning Muslims hurts more than helps, The Donald’s believe that most illegals walk here through the Mexican desert. They don’t fly, drive, float, dig or legally enter their way here, they walk. So that big dumb wall would indeed get in their way. Trump!

Only North Korea can shut down the internet in their country. US Presidents have nowhere near the power of the North Korean dictator. Is that a problem, The Donald Sir Great and All Powerful Ruler Trump?   You fucking idiot. Bring it. Tell me I’m nobody. You’re a yuuuuge assss.

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